a display item

it's kinda hard to dampen the spirits of my parents... when they are so excited about the upcoming party.. actually almost all my friends are excited... what's there to be excited arh? errr... lol... my mom had a new request... for me to dress up and have a hair-do, buy contact lenses (which I think I had forgotten how to wear them) and put on make-up so that I would look pretty in the photos at the party... nuts...

though it's true that I want to tie and plait and braid my hair... but thts cause I like my hair... nd tht's the reason why I keep them long so tht I cn plait them on my birthdy... but I didn't want to dress up and put on make up... what's the use of wearing contacts nd drssing up if my heart's not pretty and not right? I dunno... quite frustrated about it... it's feeling like I m a play thing.. or disply object... on display just so that people can take photo of me... like some kind of barbie doll... or something... I said no I dun want.. but my mom insists... I don't want to care... she can have wathever she want... i am just a model on that day... errr there's no point in dressing up really... how weird... I am becoming the one thing I dislike most... Dolls... Sigh...