not sure whether this is considered negative
time for some negtitivity hahahah just kidding... just wanna update on some things... just not sure whether they belong to this blog...
I have come to realise that in some way I am rather selfish... in a way, I kind like people showing affection or love to me like being nice and all... but i dislike it when they show all at one go... meaning when everyone be nice to you at the same time... it's kinda weird... its like I do like to be shown some ttention... but I dislike it when everyone shows me or pays me their attention... it's like being tugged at two sides... so in this way, since my birthday's coming... I dun want people to buy presents for me... hhhahaha... and in a way... they dun want to get the stuff from my wishlist... cause I think they think it's too sloppy a kind of present... and my son and future daughter-in-law wants to get me the yarn winder... which I tell them not to... cause it's a waste of their money... tht's how I feel... sigh.... so I guess I am kinda selfish...
My mom kinda realised or find out I am not very enthu about my party... cause I am waiting till the last minute to put the decor and also not wanting balloons... and not wanting the contact lens... anyway I think the shop is angry with me or rather my family.. cause I want the lens at such short notice and I want it asap and I only want 1 box of it... I think they are just being polite now because I am a customer... maybe at the backstage they are pulling their hair and trying their best not to strangle my dad...
I wonder what's a vision actually... cause I think I had 1... even if it's the shortest and faintest one... I aint even sure if it's not a fbrication of my imagination... sigh... woe you of little faith... sobs..
I was worshiping God or praising Him lst sat during service.. then suddenly I sw figure, from head down... his left hand was outstretched and beckoning me to follow him... I think or rather my first thought was Jesus calling out to me to follow Him.. today I read the bible and was thinking... mybe I have not given up everything to follow Him? mybe there are still some areas of my life tht I have not surrendered totally unto Him... I thought back to a conversation held last saturday... I think my ex-cgm was sort of counting the costs of following Jesus but his way of counting is faulty... it's flawed... I was thinking... somehow I dunno how to get closer to God leh... Pstor Casey Treat said.. he dunno how we can ask for more of the Holy Spirit when the Holy spirit is already with us... hmm yeah I guess I just want more of His presence.. truly one day in His house is better than a thousand days in the world...
my cgl laid hands on me last friday... he prayed for a new touch of God for me... which is what I wanted.. cool :) so I am waiting for the new touch of God... I am afraid that I keep my focus on artificial feelings and it's not good... what if I dun receive the real thing... sigh... unbelief... bad bad.. must renew my mind...
I have come to realise that in some way I am rather selfish... in a way, I kind like people showing affection or love to me like being nice and all... but i dislike it when they show all at one go... meaning when everyone be nice to you at the same time... it's kinda weird... its like I do like to be shown some ttention... but I dislike it when everyone shows me or pays me their attention... it's like being tugged at two sides... so in this way, since my birthday's coming... I dun want people to buy presents for me... hhhahaha... and in a way... they dun want to get the stuff from my wishlist... cause I think they think it's too sloppy a kind of present... and my son and future daughter-in-law wants to get me the yarn winder... which I tell them not to... cause it's a waste of their money... tht's how I feel... sigh.... so I guess I am kinda selfish...
My mom kinda realised or find out I am not very enthu about my party... cause I am waiting till the last minute to put the decor and also not wanting balloons... and not wanting the contact lens... anyway I think the shop is angry with me or rather my family.. cause I want the lens at such short notice and I want it asap and I only want 1 box of it... I think they are just being polite now because I am a customer... maybe at the backstage they are pulling their hair and trying their best not to strangle my dad...
I wonder what's a vision actually... cause I think I had 1... even if it's the shortest and faintest one... I aint even sure if it's not a fbrication of my imagination... sigh... woe you of little faith... sobs..
I was worshiping God or praising Him lst sat during service.. then suddenly I sw figure, from head down... his left hand was outstretched and beckoning me to follow him... I think or rather my first thought was Jesus calling out to me to follow Him.. today I read the bible and was thinking... mybe I have not given up everything to follow Him? mybe there are still some areas of my life tht I have not surrendered totally unto Him... I thought back to a conversation held last saturday... I think my ex-cgm was sort of counting the costs of following Jesus but his way of counting is faulty... it's flawed... I was thinking... somehow I dunno how to get closer to God leh... Pstor Casey Treat said.. he dunno how we can ask for more of the Holy Spirit when the Holy spirit is already with us... hmm yeah I guess I just want more of His presence.. truly one day in His house is better than a thousand days in the world...
my cgl laid hands on me last friday... he prayed for a new touch of God for me... which is what I wanted.. cool :) so I am waiting for the new touch of God... I am afraid that I keep my focus on artificial feelings and it's not good... what if I dun receive the real thing... sigh... unbelief... bad bad.. must renew my mind...
posted by didi at
11:27:00 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home